So I wanted to start my journals in a different way. Im gonna start with the Question of the Day and a quote. Here we go:

What's the most interesting thing you've done for money?
Easy. I worked on Bourbon St for a year. It consisted of firting with guys and girls to buy shots so I can make commison and keep my job. See, if you didnt sell 3 trays or more they would fire you. Once I dropped enough weight I was promoted to Beer Tub. I still had to sell shots but it didnt really matter how many I sold. I would compare myself to those dancers in cages in big clubs.
The most interesting  was with these CEO's of microsoft . I made a game where Id shoot shot glasses (which look like test tubes) out of my mouth and into a trash can. How many I could shoot in a row effected how much Id make. I shot 10 and got $100.

The Quote: "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
So true! My move to Florida for a better life was hard. It's still unbelievably hard. I still cant find a job I can stick with...well one I want to stick with. I still dont have a car although I am still saving. I dont have an appartment....actually the more I list the more depressed I get.
I gotta be completely honest, Ive thought about going back to NY. I love my boyfriend. He's the one person that makes me wanna be a better person. And since no one reads this, I can see myself growing old with him. Outside of him Im so loney. I dont have friends. I dont have a car. A car may sound weird thing to feel loney about but I hate being stuck. Im so stuck it feels like Im in quick sand and its up to my ears. I wanna stay here with him but I dont know how long. The more I stay the more I feel depressed. Something has to change. I need friends, more money, something I can grow in.


 

I've been aching to write but I havent had any time. Now that I have the peace and quiet I need I'll tell the heartbreaking tale of my week.

Two weeks ago I got a job at Cody's restaurant. I was so excited to finally have a job that payed well. So I went along with their toilsome training and on the last day of training, my last fuckin day, the manager pulled me aside and said he heard from 2 other servers that I'm bad at multitasking, slow and unprepared for the job. He offered a hostess job instead. I reluctantly agreed and cried the whole way home. I know it's a bitch move to cry but I was so mad I didn't know what else to do.
After I calmed down (which was the next day) I started to think I was set up. I know I am more than qualified for a server job. I worked a year on motherfuckin bourbon st. I served 1000s of people al day. I think I know a thing or 2 about speed. I've also had to server 20 or 30 people at once. Multitasking is obviously something I'm bad at. This all brings to me to yesterday.
Yesterday I started my new position as a hostess. Which, by the way, I believe that job is a piece of shit only reserved for girls that are too dumb to know whata fork is and old ladies that just want a job to feel useful. Anyways, I started talking to the other hostesses about the situation and they told me that 2 girls told the manager this. I now know who they are and I am deeply tempted to ruin their jobs. I control who sits in who's area. These girls just might not make money because ,oh I dont know, maybe someone will forget to put costumers in their area......Then again, I should be professional and mature. It's just a restuarant. These girls are JUST girls. There is no women. Now I'm left with 2 options : 1-fuck those girls over worst then they fucked me and feel justified. 2-Preform my job well and get the position I really want. Bartender.

On something almost totally different....
I have 3 of my art pieces in Ocala's art hall. I think the official title for the building is Brick City Center for the Arts. I'm gonna try to sell my pieces for $50 each. Let me be totally honest about this. I dont think I'm gonna sell any of them. They're old pieces I did in New Orleans and at best they're shitty are projects. Still, I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for 1 to sell. I'll post pics regardless. One of my goals is to sell my art and this is the first step even if nothing gets sold. Here's a queer reminder that keeps my spirits up: In the Tooth Fairy (dont ask) the Rock is trying to be a star hockey player again and when he tried for the first time he chokes up. He freaks out and his fairy friend said "of course its not easy. Thats what makes it worthwhile."
I'm also training for my 5K. I know 5K's are suppose to be easy but for someone who hated to run and rarely did, unless I was being chased, It's a big deal. I've been training since December and I'm proud to say I can run comfortably 2 minutes at a time. I can also run a 1.5 miles on the treadmill. So I'm moving up.